iPhone 3G Sucks Review

I don't have one, but I'm going to act like I do. I don't even have the old iPhone, in fact, I don't even own a cellphone (what is this 2002?).

Upon opening it is it shiny and plasticky. It even smells expensive. The best part about the whole experience is it wasn't packaged in that annoying blister pack crap. I always end up cutting my thumbs or breaking open my cuticle with those things. Kudos to Apple for not going cheap.

I'm somewhat disappointed that apple didn't include the puzzle game. That always was my favorite part about Macs. I don't have much experience with Macs beyond the puzzle game, oh, and Marathon, but I try to block that out best I can.

Hands down the coolest thing you can do with the iPod phone is make calls... when your outside... without.. a cord... to other.. . people... who are... outside.

On a side note one of my favorite things to do is when I see a person on a cell phone in public I try to find another person on a cell phone then imagine that the two are talking to each other, from like 20 feet away. It makes me laugh. I mean, get off the phone. Your 20 feet away!

So the iPhone 3G has 3 more Gs than the orginal iPhone. And that's important because people rank each other based on how many Gs they have. You don't think so? Just listen to a rap CD. They always go on about how many Gs they have, and how they are the orginal G, and "it's nothing but a G thing, baby." Rappers don't lie. Ever. Except Snoop Dogg. He lied once.

Finally there is no cut and paste. What is this 2002?

Staedtler Pigment Liner Technical Pen Set

I bought these with the intent of drawing like this man, instead I got smudgy marks all over my paper, really expensive paper. Doh!

I bought these for $14.99 at Michaels, which not just glossing over prices on the internet was a ripoff. I think I might have used their weekend coupon though so that at least is cool.

Phil Lewis didn't recommend these pens though so his reputation is intact. I did also buy some Sakura Micron pens at his suggestion, which are much better at not smudging and giving a nice sharp, thin line. I have one new pen that acts like it already out of ink so I'm not too sure about their quality control.

Maybe one day if I finish the drawing I'll scan it and post it up here. I have not worked on it for ages... oh wait, back on topic.

This set of 4 pens has 4 line widths, (amazingly enough) a 0.1 mm, 0.3 mm, 0.5 mm, and a 0.7 mm one. The 0.1 mm is a lie though as my Sakura pen is only a 0.2 mm and it's visibly thinner. It also leaves a much thinner line as well. I think Staedtler is lying.

They are also made in Germany which, I suppose, shouldn't be held against them.

The case is neat though...

Final word: Don't Buy

Frito Lay Sunflower Seeds Review

99 cents bitch!

Nowhere on the planet can you get this much pure enjoyment for 99 cents. Maybe a two bit whore somewhere, but I'm talking about something that won't give you a disease.

These things are addicting. Very addicting. The packaging lies. The ingredients are sunflower seeds, salt, and crack. That's how they hook you. The first hits free but then it'll cost you.

Now that I'm looking at it, the packaging does lie. I have an empty bag here on my desk and it doesn't agree with the picture. It says 190 calories, 140 calories from fat, 16g of fat, yet only 1.5 grams of saturated fat. Sodium is a whopping 360mg, 5g carbs, but 7 grams of protein.

Also the packaging notes that the nutrition information is for hulled seeds. I bet that sodium figure is way off considering all the sucking you have to do to eat these sunflower seeds. I'll probably die of a coronary by 30.

I really do have it down to a science, maybe even an art form. Do they have sunflower seed eating competitions? I probably could come in third. You know first place would be some skinny Japanese guy who trains all day for competitions like these.

I know there are people out there devoted to David sunflower seeds, but frankly they are stupid. David's come stale out of the package, barely snap open and have too much salt. I've yet to try Spitz, but with a stupid ass name like that I don't feel the need to. I heard good things about Giants as well, but if your main fling works, why go somewhere else?

Ah, one more thing the package says, "eating instructions: crack open shells, discard shells, enjoy the seeds!" That's about as helpful as instructions on shampoo bottles. I think if you couldn't figure that out you should try out a padded helmet.

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